birthday bloggery

It’s been my birthday. Oh, yes, it’s been my birthday.

I’m big on the birthdays. I can’t describe what that’s about exactly, given my anti-celebratory stance on most things and my general unexcitability. But birthdays are exciting. Over the years I have come to see them as ritual and renewal. Like New Year’s for the actual self. A chance for me to look at myself on my timeline of me and be impressed that I am the furthest along I have ever been – never mind that this is necessarily the case. While of course I love the part where I share it with others, my favourite part of my birthday is the part I spend alone. For years now I have been purposeful about taking myself out of contact for awhile on mon anniversaire and just sort of getting a sense of what it feels like to be in my body and in my head, and each year I am more convinced that it feels good. And that’s not just the birthday high talking.

My birthday also invokes thoughts about origins and new locations. Expansion has been a theme for me over the last year – wanting to get bigger and be able to see over the tops of more things, rather than getting smaller and huddled as I sometimes tend to do. I have this definite origin (the song ‘Love is Like a Rock’ by Donnie Iris was my birthday theme song this year), and I have these long extensions stretching over the earth and grasping all of my other locales and geographies. So expansion is happening. This was nice to see because when I look at the last year of my life I see so much huddling around a heart and so much drawing inward.

I’d love to know how other folks think about and experience birthdays. Sure, it’s an arbitrary day just like any other, but it’s your arbitrary day just like any other. I’m hanging out for a birthday blog from Ali – and for any comments about what your birthday is all about.

Coming soon: hookers and American junk food – more birthday bloggery!

birthday

An excerpt from my birthday dance, in my new birthday scarf – thanks again to Donnie Iris.

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2 responses to “birthday bloggery

  1. Birthdays ARE private celebrations, to me. I’m not the sort to go to the pub and tell everyone just so Í’ll get properly soused. I like to celebrate in ways that affirm the life lived so far.. I am thinking of going horse riding this year, or else giving myself a learn to dive certificate. Horse riding for me is traditionally a solitary experience, but I think the word private has more relevance here… a small select group of friends, a swag or three, the stars.. A birthday is when you get to be exclusive, it’s your day after all, and you and your refined choice of persons can be smug to the hills about how little everybody else knows about the birthday girl (or boy), really. It’s a time when old friendships come into sharp relief, including the one with yourself. I personally like to set tasks for myself with the birthday wish.. like being happy, living lightly, loving well, surrender, devotion, so on. Celebrated with little bits of paper stuck to the wall. This year I am vowing (ahah! yes, that’s it! It’s a time for one’s renewal of personal commitment, vows undertaken) to .. not sure yet, but it definitely involves intimacy with one other person, a sense of peace and a sense of expansion. Will keep you posted. I love the little excursions into your mind, bs.
    x

  2. I’m a public sorta person and my birthdays tend to the same- I’m all-exposition, all-the-time, love to have my crew around and lots of different people to look at and the ways I look back on how I’ve done tend to be verbal, bounced back off people who may or may not have been there at the time. Sometimes this feels like a character flaw but I have to get over that cos letting myself stay alone in my head too long is a recipe for madness- sanity is more important than decorum, I’ve decided.

    I’m pondering the tagging, pondering a proper birthday post… I’ll see how I go but I’m a bit caught up in rush and work for reflection at the moment. Still, your birthday post has got me thinking, so perhaps I’ll come up with something.

    Happy birthday, fellow Capricorn
    xx

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